Thursday, 27 October 2011

How to become a famous TV artist

Great news! Ed the editor informs me that my book , How to Paint Flowers in Acrylics will be hot off the presses in early December.. that's sorted out all my Christmas presents this year then!! I thought it would also be a good idea to have an accompanying DVD made which would compliment the launch of the book. With this in mind, I contacted the SAA, not The Students Award Agency , but the Society For All Artists, which they wisely avoided calling SWF...
After giving details of the book that implied that i would need a screen test, meanwhile, could I send in and screen footage I had of me presenting to camera. I sent some you tube footage in despite this, they contacted me back to say I was obviously relaxed in front of the camera, and there was no need for a screen test. I was booked for a three day filming slot which should produce a DVD and three half hour television programs for Sky TV. I met Ed (yes another one!) and Gary and was ushered into their very impressive studio. All went well until my synapses decided to take a short break and I couldn't string two sentences together. We got through that however with some judicial camera work and managed to get the filming of the painting, intakes, outtakes and uptakes all in the can by mid day two.. they seemed pleased. We had a tour of the SAA facility which looks like an Ocado store on a quiet day, the quality control department were rigorously testing several electric pencil sharpeners following a customer complaint about it going blunt, a bit like striking matches to see if they light...  I was shown an original Alwyn Crawshaw painting that had been rescued from a toilet which had no windows and a notice advising attendees to use air freshener where appropriate! Ahh you know you've made it in art when your work is hung in a toilet!
As a reward for finishing early, I decided to blow some cash at Screwfix next door, which incidentally did not involve what you're thinking... it's a hardware company...
So, looking forward to the rushes

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